Friday, January 29, 2010

In The Thick Of It

Aaaah, here I am in the middle of chaos once again! There is not a flat surface in my house that is not full of STUFF!
Does it ever end? I know the answer to that. I just want to have complete control. Is that too much to ask? I don't even want to control the whole world. Not even the whole town I live in.

I just want to control my own little house. That's really all I ask. Is that so unreasonable?

So I ask myself, what price order? If I were as organized and in control as I imagine that I want to be, what exactly would that mean? What would my life look like if I were in "perfect order"? I mean, I have to find some way to justify the mess!! Right?
Do I want perfect order and no mess and a boring life? Or would I rather have SO many things to create, to rearrange, to fiddle with, to sell, and have the mess that comes with all this creativity?
Maybe I don't need perfection. Maybe perfection and the idea that I have to attain it is working against me. Maybe I need to make friends with chaos. Maybe chaos is an integral part of my process. Not total choas, but the chaos that comes out of creativity.
What if I embrace my chaos? Don't fight it, but dive into it. Enjoy it....
The more I think about this, the better it feels. I can learn to relax in my chaos. Let it feed me ideas and inspiration. Let go a little, and let the messes happen and be okay with them. Stop making judgments that messes and chaos are always a bad thing that needs to be cleaned up and put away.
I have found that I usually create more when my desk is a mess. There can be a turning loose, a setting free in allowing chaos to exist. Hmm...maybe that's one reason why I named my studio AmongTheRuins.


  1. Chaos inspires imagination. Hang in there, baby!

  2. yes...chaos is surprising and wondrous! it will be okay to have some of it...i think chaos is creative as long as it doesn't take over totally.

  3. I read, with interest, your theory on chaos since I agree; organization and control puts you into a narrow realm where creativity suffers. Chaos is freedom. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

  4. Oh My God! I thought I was the only messy one. It feels so nice to know that I have such great company.. My table top gets really overwhelming some times, but I am too involved in creating.

    Organizing is a whole different story. It is not that I don't like to do that , but creating and keeping things organized do not go hand in hand in my case.

    But I do feel disturbed for that.

  5. Oh my you are not alone!!!!!! LOL
    I am deeply disturbed by chaos and yet I continually find myself in it, creating some of my best pieces!!